Breakups are never easy, whether it’s the end of a romantic relationship or the loss of a deep friendship. The emotional turmoil that follows can affect not just your mind but your overall well-being. Healing from a breakup isn’t about forgetting or suppressing emotions—it’s about processing them in a way that allows you to move forward with peace.
Today, I want to share a real-life story of one of my clients who faced this challenge and how she navigated her healing journey.
The Story of Emotional Triggers
A client of mine had been friends with someone for almost two years. Their bond was strong, and they shared many wonderful moments together. However, a year ago, this friendship ended abruptly, leaving her heartbroken.
Even after a year, she found herself stuck in the same cycle of sadness, grief, and loneliness. The emotional pain persisted because her mind kept replaying the past—again and again, like a never-ending loop. To make things more difficult, they lived in the same building, constantly reminding her of the painful past.
While the event of the breakup happened once, she was unknowingly reliving it repeatedly, affecting her mental and emotional well-being. This is something many of us experience—we hold onto past hurt and, in doing so, we continue to let it affect us long after the event is over.
So, how do you break free from this cycle? Here’s what I guided her to do.
Step 1: Give Yourself a ‘Grieving Day’
One of the most powerful techniques to process emotions is to set a designated day for it. Instead of unconsciously thinking about the breakup every single day, consciously decide that one day (for example, a Sunday) will be dedicated to fully experiencing those emotions.
On that day, allow yourself to feel everything—cry if you need to, scream into a pillow, write down your feelings, or express your emotions in a way that feels right.
Revisit the event in your mind but with the awareness that this is the only day you will allow yourself to dwell on it.
Once the day is over, shut the door to that past event. Tell yourself that you will not return to it over and over again.
Step 2: Stop the Replays
After the ‘grieving day,’ it is essential to break the habit of replaying the past. Here’s how:
Be aware of your thoughts. Whenever the memory comes up, acknowledge it but do not engage with it.
Distract yourself with something positive. Engage in activities that make you happy—reading, exercise, music, or creative hobbies.
Avoid reopening old wounds. Delete or archive past conversations, photos, or anything that triggers the pain unnecessarily.
Step 3: Shift from Pain to Gratitude
Instead of focusing on the pain of the breakup, shift your perspective to gratitude.
Appreciate the good times you had. Instead of resenting the past, be grateful that you shared beautiful moments with that person.
Say ‘Thank You’ for the experience. It helped you grow, learn, and become who you are today.
Understand that people come and go. Some friendships and relationships are seasonal, meant to teach us lessons and move on.
Step 4: Forgive and Release
Holding onto resentment or sadness doesn’t hurt the other person—it only burdens you. The person who left may be happy, moving forward in life, while you are carrying the baggage of the past.
Forgiveness is for YOU, not them.
Let go of the emotional weight.
Tell yourself: ‘I choose to be free.’
Final Thoughts: Your Healing is in Your Hands
Healing from a breakup—whether romantic or friendship—is entirely possible. The key is to process your emotions intentionally, stop the repetitive cycles, shift your mindset to gratitude, and finally, forgive to free yourself.
If you are struggling with heartbreak, try these steps. Give yourself permission to heal, to feel, and to move forward. You deserve happiness, and it starts with letting go.
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