Recently, I worked with a young client, an 18-year-old girl filled with silent grief and anger. She felt deeply neglected by her parents, believing they prioritized everything else over her. Her resentment had grown so she barely communicated with them, even while living under the same roof.
Her words were heavy: “They were never there for me, always leaving me with a maid. I’ll leave them as soon as I can.”
As a counselor, I knew there was more to this story.
The Parent’s Side
When I spoke to her mother, a different picture emerged. The parents had been tirelessly working to provide their daughter with the best opportunities—quality education, extracurriculars, and dreams of studying abroad. Their absence wasn’t neglect but a sacrifice to secure her future.
The maid, whom the daughter resented, was an expensive necessity to ensure she was cared for while the parents worked.
Two Sides of the Same Coin
Both sides acted out of love and good intentions, yet the lack of communication created a rift.
The daughter interpreted her parents’ actions as indifference.
The parents assumed their sacrifices were understood.
The Power of Communication
In such situations, neither party is entirely wrong. What’s missing is perspective and dialogue.
To mend this family, I helped both sides step into each other’s shoes. Without breaking confidentiality, I guided them to express their feelings and listen with empathy. Slowly, they began to understand each other’s struggles and intentions.
Lessons Learned
Speak Your Heart: If someone’s actions hurt you, communicate directly and kindly. Share how you feel so they can understand your perspective.
Seek to Understand: Before jumping to conclusions, consider the other person’s situation. Their actions may come from love, even if they don’t show it in the way you expect.
Value Communication: God gave us the gift of words for a reason. Use them to heal, not hurt.
A Happy Ending
Today, this family lives harmoniously, having learned to accept and respect each other. Their bond is stronger because they choose to communicate instead of letting silence deepen the divide.
P.S. Relationships are like bridges—they need constant care and communication to stay strong. When in doubt, step into the other person’s shoes and talk it out.
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